Loving a restless soul proves to be quite a challenge. My boyfriend is a restless soul, a born traveler, a lover of spontaneity and passion and excitement. I, in theory, am all of these things too, but not now. Not in this period of my life. It makes me nervous he's going to leave. He's going to get bored with me and take a flight to South America and "poof!" gone. Just like that. Its hard to keep a restless heart content.
This morning, I read my boyfriends journal. I know this is wrong- so wrong- but I did it. We're moving in together in just a couple of weeks so I feel the need to know his every doubt, every secret, every fear. Three months ago he wrote an entry about how I may not be enough for him. I don't make him feel passion and excitement. I'm not spontaneous enough. He has thoughts of "what could be" and "who could be". I'm not in any way upset with him about this. I knew what I was getting myself into choosing a man like him. I just wonder if I'll ever make him truly happy. Moving in together is a huge step for us and I am doubting how ready he is. I'm ready. I'm so ready. I love him and never want anyone else. I very much hope he wants the same one day.